The above photograph illustrates my concept/idea of a mixed couple. The dude on the left is wrapped in a towel, the one on the right (taking a selfie) is completely nude. One guy who is very modest and uncomfortable with being seen bare coupled with another guy who is
proud to be bare and is oblivious to anyone who disagrees with him. I've been in mixed relationships before and every time it ended, I promised myself:
never again! Fortunately, Aaron, my husband, and I both feel the same way about clothes:
who needs them?
I have been in several medium-to-long-term relationships (prior to meeting Aaron in 2009) with textile (clothes-wearing) partners. I know from experience that with one man being a confirmed bare (nude) and the other preferring clothing, the relationships can become volatile, and usually do. At least, that has been my experience.
The first sign of a problem normally occurs when the comment is made:
Do you always have to be naked? The remark is often made as an observation and generally said in passing. Over time, it becomes increasingly frequent and a little more demanding each time. Finally, in frustration and anger, it becomes:
Must you be naked all the time? Eventually, it gets to the point that it is no longer a question and is simply a command:
Put some clothes on!
And the only chance of conflict isn't just limited to the home environment. Where to spend leisure time together can and does present challenges. Should we visit a clothing-optional beach or one that is strictly swimsuit only? The same holds true for pools, resort locations, parks, etc.
If a clothing-optional destination is agreed upon, then another issue arises. The textile (clothed) partner invariably begins with the accusation:
You only want to meet/talk to him because you want a better look at what his junk/genitalia/package is like up close! Or if not that, the usual accusation of noticing/staring at others becomes the source of additional conflict.
Let's face it, when in a relationship and one man is a bare enthusiast and the other is not, there exists unlimited reasons for jealousy and hurt for even glancing at another bare man. This type of distrust often destroys the partnership regardless if the accusation is true or false.
The issue of friends somehow enters into the picture of a mixed (naked versus clothed) couple. The nudist wants to hang out with his bare buddies. The clothing oriented one wants to hang out with his textile crowd. This often leaves very little time for the couple to be with friends and still be a couple.
Then when the two find time to be socially active together, the conflict then becomes, do we invite his nude friends or do we invite his clothes-wearing friends. Inevitably, the two separate sets of friends almost never get-along together. The textile group feels the bare group is too licentious and, well, naked. The bare crew feels that the clothing group gawks and rudely stares at them. There simply is no comfortable mixing of the two, despite the fact that they're all same gender loving men.
Another issue surrounds extended leisure periods, known as nakations within the bare community and simply vacations otherwise. Do we plan a destination that embraces nudity or do we follow the conventional route and visit someplace that requires clothing on a full-time basis? The clothing-oriented partner usually insists on the vacation option and the naturist/nudist, already stressed from having to conform to clothing standards for both work and everyday life, insists on, at the very least, a clothing-optional destination for the nakation option. The longer the relationship, the chance of a compromise appears unlikely.
I know about this from my own life-experience and from friends who have been in the same situation. No matter how much the two partners profess their love, the clothing issue somehow manages to divide the two apart. The resentment builds and eventually erodes the ability to even try to reach common ground.
True love is supposed to overcome all obstacles, at least, that's what I was always taught. However, I believe that the clothes issue does become an insurmountable hurdle in a relationship when it is complicated by a host of other problems that every couple, bare or textile, has to face. In dealing with life, the fewer the conflicts, the better the chance of survival.
In my past relationships (before Aaron), in retrospect, the clothing conflict, when accompanied by all the other items we faced as a couple, just proved to overwhelm us. We became too entrenched in our separate lives (bare versus clothed) that we were unable to find a "happy medium" ground.
If anyone reading this has a similar experience, regardless of the outcome, please comment below and share!
Peace! Get naked. Enjoy!
Bare With Pride
