Erectilephobia (NSFW)

Far too many men have offered to me the excuse: I'd like to go naked but I'm afraid I'll get an erection when I'm around other guys. Well, so what? We're all adults and know that erections happen, most of the time when it isn't convenient for us. An erection, or swelling, elongation and hardening of a man's penis is a natural response to a sensual stimulation. This stimulation can be physical (such as manual) or sensual such as visual, or by the gentle breeze, or by any number of conscious or unconscious causes. It occurs in men and there's no way to prevent that from occurring (short of castration). I don't think any of us want that to happen!

To make sure that we all understand the this post, Wikipedia defines erection as a physiological phenomenon in which the penis becomes firmer, engorged and enlarged. Penile erection is the result of a complex interaction of psychosocial, neural, vascular and endocrine factors and is often associated with sexual arousal or sexual attraction, although erections can also be spontaneous. The shape, angle and direction of an erection varies considerably in humans.   

Allow me to explain that I'm almost positive that erectilephobia isn't an official word in any language known to mankind. I'm fairly certain that I made that word up to describe the types of men that I opened this post: Erectilephobia is the fear of getting or showing an erection in public. This is especially the case in a socially nudist environment. Most men don't want others to see their erection (boner, hard-on, full salute, etc). This is a valid but unnecessary concern. It's unnecessary within the culture of nudity because all of us understand that this occurs and it is usuallu unrelated to sex.   

As same gender loving men, we all know that there are two types of erections: voluntary (the ones that we consciously submit to, as in sex) and involuntary (those that happen spontaneously or unconsciously) over which we have no control. 

Voluntary erections occur when we are sensually stimulated through anticipation of a sexual encounter or by allowing ourselves to become manually stimulated by the touching of another. Masturbation is a form of voluntary erection. 

Involuntary erections occur for no apparent reason. It is in response to a subconscious stimulation either by association or imagined fantasy. A gentle breeze blowing over our nude body can cause an involuntary erection. Sometimes, especially for those new to the naturist/nudist community, the simple act of being in close proximity to other bare men may cause an involuntary erection. 

We are all sexual creatures. Our sexuality in part of our nature and we respond to this desire accordingly. For most men, we are very proud of our erections when they happen within our being intimate with a man whom we find attractive and appealing. In this type of situation, we find no reason to be ashamed of our hard penis.

As same gender loving men, the overwhelming majority of us are extremely proud of our erection when in a sexual setting and often strut our "pride and glory" for our partner to admire. There is nothing wrong or lewd about this confidence. However, when it happens in full view publicly, for many it becomes a dreaded and embarrassing moment that seems to last forever.

Unfortunately, erectilephobia inhibits some same gender loving men from participating in social naturist/nudist activities. They are afraid of being humiliated publicly by having an erection. Let me add here that some opposite gender loving men feel the same and suffer from this condition, erectilephobia, also. It's not just a "queer fear."

Given the sanctions that our broader society, especially in Western cultures, places on nudity, it is understandable that men, regardless of their gender orientation, fear being seen aroused (erect) in public. Most men, and many women, associate erections as a strictly sexual reaction. If it happens in full view of others, then it is considered a source of shame. 

Here in the USA, a large part of the guilt/shame surrounding social nudity and public erections can be attributed to the Puritan and  fundamentalist legacy of our early colonists. Our society in general still subscribes to the heritage of these forebears. 

With the recent arrival of summer here in the Northern Hemisphere and the accompanying series of bare or clothing-optional social events and activities (cook-outs, barbecues, athletic opportunities, beach outings, etc.), I want to help calm and erase the anxieties that men may have with public erections. Everyone, gay or otherwise, deserves the freedom to experience the season both clothes-free and guilt-free.   

First, I'll attempt to dispel a few myths surrounding public erections. Second, I'll offer several personal suggestions on coping should an unintentional penis excitement occur while you're attending a social naturist/nudist function. Many of these I've used myself whenever I've become publicly stimulated. 

Misconceptions:

1.  Everyone will know that I'm inexperienced with social nudity. This is a totally false premise. It is true that those "newbie-nude" or those unpracticed in communal or social nakedness are prone to erections. However, this is not an exclusive statement. Veteran, experienced social nudists get erections, too! Trust me on this, I know as it has happened to me, my husband and our friends on more than just an occasional basis. Regardless of the person, erections occur naturally and randomly, they don't discriminate based on how many times a man is publicly nude. 

2.  People will think I'm an exhibitionist or trolling for sex. Relax. First, one of the last places for an exhibitionist is in a socially nude environment. By nature, exhibitionists are excited about exposing themselves and other's reactions their behavior. In a socially naked situation, they blend in with the crowd and are practically invisible. There's no reward (thrill) for them. 

If they are so bold as to masturbate in public, they are ignored, shunned and soon escorted off the property. Practitioners of social nudity have little or no tolerance for exhibitionists or their behavior. 

Second, most practicing social nudists, gay or otherwise, are aware of erectile spontaneity and simply ignore the condition. In a predominately same gender loving male gathering, we've all "been there, done that" and understand completely. Its really no big deal. It has happened to all of us and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is lying. 

3.  Everyone there will laugh at me or worse. This is simply not true and for the reasons stated above. Most experienced nudists, of both genders, are sympathetic and too polite to call attention to a man with an erection. Unless he guy is acting in an offensive or provocative way, few will give it a second thought. There is no "erection control police" to embarrass a man for being normal. 

4.  I'll be humiliated. If an arousal occurs at all, and understand that the key word here is "if," in some ways, this maybe true. You may feel humiliated but that is your feeling. No one else will give it a second thought. The discomfort will last only as long as your erection. This is usually a few minutes, tops. Once it disappears, get on with enjoying the company of those who are naked around you. Relax, be yourself, and appreciate the freedom of your nudity and the bare bodies of those with you. 

5.  Someone will misunderstand and think I'm attracted/interested in them. Again, because of the reasons above, most men will give the matter no thought. And, if they do, they probably see it as a compliment. If they do notice your growth between your legs, you can always respond with a humorous comment to "break-the-ice." Who knows, you may make a new friend. 

6.  Getting photographed nude always gives me an erection. Remember, when bare, you don't have to pose for the camera. Just enjoy being clothes-free around friends. Be yourself and have fun and pay no attention to any friends who may have a camera with them. If you do become aroused, don't worry about it. Chances are, if you don't make a big deal out of it, others won't either.

Again, keep in mind that practically every male naturist/nudist around you has had this happen to them at least once in their lives. An erection is a natural phenomena of the male body, gay or otherwise. I survived it and you will, too!

There are some options if (again, "if" not "when") a man, same gender loving, bisexual or straight, begins to feel the onset of a penile erection. Here are some of the alternatives that I've used when in this predicament. Keep in mind that these are personal suggestions and not from any "official" rule book (I don't such a volume exists). 

Remember, there is no iron-clad rule that an erection will happen to you. Some guys attend socially nudes events for years before having one. Our penises don't have a "memory-chip" that tabulates when, or if, a man is due for an arousal. 

I've mentored a number of gay men into the bare lifestyle and all have commented favorably on these hints. It is important to remember that you are not the only man who's had to contend with this situation. 

Suggestions:

1.  If lying on a towel or on a chair, whether at the beach or a pool deck, simply roll over until the penis subsides. Common sense, right? Sometimes a quick dip into the water will help calm an erection. 

2.  If standing in a group of acquaintances, physically turn away from the group (if possible without being rude). It is fine to excuse yourself before turning your back.

 If standing in a group of close friends, focus on maintaining eye contact directly with those around you. Concentrate on the conversation and not the erection. Continue to interact as though nothing is amiss. If this is done when you first feel your penis getting hard, it usually prevents a full erection. These are your friends, after all.  

3.  If you become aroused during a sports game, whether one-on-one or a team, or a social game (charades, board games or cards), again, remain focused on the activity and not the growing erection. Becoming more involved decreases genital response, especially if movement is possible. 

4.  If this happens during a meal (barbecue, cookout, picnic, etc.), there is a wonderful convenience known as napkin. Use it to cover your lap while savoring both the food and the company. Just knowing that you're no longer openly exposed usually causes the penis to relax.  

5.  If you're skinny-dipping, whether in a pool or a natural body of water, submerging yourself helps to conceal the erection. Continue to swim around or take a couple of practice laps around the pool until the problem subsides. 

6.  If appropriate, and you're comfortable doing so, use self-deprecating humor to diffuse the situation. Laughter shared with others, especially friends, changes the mood and eliminates any tension. Remember the proverb: "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone." 

7.  If all else fails, mentally picture the opposite of the situation. Envision castration or affliction with premature erectile dysfunction. These thoughts alone will quickly erase any unplanned natural urge from occurring between your legs. Then hope and pray these misfortunes will never happen to you! 

 

8.  Never be ashamed of your nudity. Maintain a positive attitude towards being socially naked among others and enjoy the freedom of being bare. These thoughts reduce anxiety and help you to relax. There's no need to consciously cover your penis. Everyone already knows that you have one. Just be yourself and appreciate the ability to be clothes-free with others. 

Summary:

It is important to remember that as same gender loving men, we all have erections at some very inconvenient moments in our lives. As we mature, these don't happen as frequently as they did when we were in our adolescent years, but they still happen. Erections are a natural and normal aspect of being the male of our species.

There is no fool-proof guarantee to prevent an arousal from happening. Most of us know this from experience, regardless of gender. We also know that an erection isn't always the result of any type of sexual stimulation, either manual or visual. Nudity is no absolute guarantee that an erection will occur. They can and do happen when we are completely clothed. They are simply part of the male physiology.

Spontaneous erections are those that occur without any conscious provocation on our part and likely disappear the same way. Using the suggestions listed above will hopefully prepare you for when and if they happen to you.

What's important to keep in mind is that all of us who engage in same gender loving bare living, the gay naturist/nudist lifestyle, understand and recognize this reality. It has happened to all of us and more than likely will happen again in the future. We don't judge others because of this. In fact, the vast majority of us are very glad that it does.  

Don't allow your fear of a public erection hamper or hinder your participation in socially nude activities or events. The few moments of embarrassment are, by far, out-weighed by the many benefits of friendship, comradeship and fellowship that we make while bare.

Peace! Get naked. Enjoy!

Bare With Pride